The Elephant in the Room

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I finally finished the elephant mask! I originally made it as a birthday present for a good friend of mine, but since it took so long, it will now be a big birthday/christmas present. I think it’s the largest mask I’ve ever made, but considering that, it’s quite comfortable to wear.  :)

A few days now, and Christmas is upon us. I am happy about this time of year, but honestly, I am also stressed. The demands of school are high. My health is unpredictable at times, which drains me physically. And in all of this, the expectations I place upon myself as an artist put me under more pressure: There are different issues, but most of all, I don’t know “what I am doing” in a creative sense.
I work on projects and enjoy the process, but if you’d ask me “where I’m going”, I couldn’t really tell you.  I could tell you what I want to reach, but not how to actually get there.

As is, I feel like I’m in a fog, which blocks me from “moving”.  I don’t know where I’m going, which in turn leads to self-doubt.
This doesn’t stop me from creating. But it could make me think I’m “not creative”.
I know that this is a phase that will pass. I also know that self-doubt is part of being an artist. But the process obviously doesn’t feel that great.

I know this isn’t the most uplifting post, but I felt it was important to be honest about this. Especially during Christmas, a holiday where we remember that God was born as a human, as the baby Jesus: Jesus didn’t stay in heaven, but was born into a chaotic, imperfect world, so people could from then on say that “God is with us”. So I can admit that I don’t have it all together, but I know that God is with us, anyway.
In that sense, whether you feel great or not, have a blessed Christmas season, because “God is with us”.


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